There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
