just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
