Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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