i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize