Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
