Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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