After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
