yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
