So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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