I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
