weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
