fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
