so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
