Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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