dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
