Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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