suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
