I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
