worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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