who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
