PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
