the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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