I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
