I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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