yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
