ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You took a bar mat shot.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
this hospital has no fireball
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
