I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
