Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
