i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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