hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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