Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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