GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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