That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
