Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
