is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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