got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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