after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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