It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
