So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I have already put on my inside pants.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
