We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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