I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Pants are for mortals
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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