when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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