his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Princesses don't give blow jobs
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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