He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
