If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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