I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
the night ended with taco bell and tears
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
