After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
