mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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