oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
