woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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