Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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