sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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