Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
