i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize