okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
