which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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