i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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