Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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