No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
