your parents love me but you hate me
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
