I never want to see another naked old woman again.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
